Update

Ok so I know that I have not given this blog love in a long time, but I feel I should write something today. Its been over a year since I last bloged on here so let me catch you up!

Over a year ago I joined the US Coast Guard. Went to boot camp in New Jersey and graduated in xray 177. From there I was stationed in San Juan Puerto Rico on CGC Matinicus. That is a 110 foot patrol boat thats mission is law enforcement, migrant interdiction, along with search and rescue. There are many things I have learned working on this boat, my job consited of being a rescue swimmer, small boat crewmember, Junior officer of the Deck, and currently breaking in as a Bording Team Member.

Now that I have been down in PR for over a year I feel as if its time to move on. I have put in for Operation Specialist "A" school in Petalima CA. As of right now I am hopeing to be going in OCT to start school and is 18 weeks long. After graduation I am hoping stationed on eather CGC Hamilton or CGC Chase. Both of those cutters are 378 feet long and patrol for 2-3 months at a time. The reason why i am chosing such a big cutter is because I want to be stationed out of San Diego, and both cutters routinely patrols both the Eastern Pacific Ocean, interdicting narco-terrorists, and the Bering Sea/Gulf of Alaska, enforcing federal fisheries law and conducting search and rescue operations.

So for all you San Diego friends, I am going to be moving back in Febuary! I am planning on getting a place in Hillcrest and cant wait to see you all! Well thats all I am going to write today... More to come!!!

NEW LIFE

Well I have not updated this thing in a LONG LONG time… Were I am now and were I was when I wrote my last blog are not even on the same continent…. The firefighting thing did not pan out for me… Were they put me and what job they gave me I would not be happy…. I would not be doing any medical aids at all… Currently I am in San Francisco, my parents pretty much told me that I was a going to hell and have a problem and need help… I am not going to pretend to be something I am not just to please my parents… When they decide that they can accept me for who I am, all talk to them… Well future plans for me equal me joining the Coast Guard and becoming a rescue swimmer… I am going to be going to boot camp on the East Coast in the next month… Then I will be off to Puerto Rico… Hopefully I will be stationed there for 2 year… Then I am planning on moving back to SD for my last 2 years in… Life is going to be crazy, but at least all be making good money and seeing the world…. Wish me luck!!!!

Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It’s the mastery of fear. It’s about getting up one more time than we fall down.

The Start of a New...

Well Graduation is just around t he corner…. I have two and a half more school days… but I am going to be missing Thursday so more like one and a half more days… I am so stoked that I am finally going to be ending my childhood and moving onto the real world… June 15 is going to be my graduation, then I am flying out to RENO the next morning at seven AM… There I will be taking my 67 hour class all week long… Finally after that is done I am going to be reporting to my station for the summer. I am going to be working for California Department of Forestry and Fire Protection (CAL FIRE) .. right now there is so many mixed feeling! On one hand I am kinda depressed that I am leaving so many friends behind for the summer, and I am still not over someone, but on the other had I am stoked that I am going to be doing something that I love! And making A LOT of money doing it… San Diego I am going to miss you, but don’t worry I will be back after summer for school…

Memorial Day Weekend

A nether turn in the road has changed my course once more. This last Memorial Day weekend has been a heart breaking one. I am not going to go into great details but the thing that happened in the past has happened to me a second time. Having your heart broken is not a great feeling. It leaves you with this empty void in your chest that hurts. After you realize that it is over you think that you will never let this horrible thing happen to you because you don’t want this pain. That is one reason why I have changed my summer plans.

The next few weeks that lay ahead of me are not ones of happiness. People say that graduating from high school should be a fun experience. There is not joy in it for me. Over the next week I have to say goodbye to all my high school friends. Most of them I will never see or lose contact with. Pack all of my stuff and get ready to move to a place I hate for a summer. Graduation night is going to suck for me because I have to hop on a plane that night and fly to Reno. (No celebrating for me)

This summer my plans are simple. I am going to move to norcal and work my ass off. Since there is nothing worthwhile for me to spend my money on up there I will be able to make bank. I am going to be employed by CAL FIRE working in Trinity County. I am not really looking forward to moving to NORCAL because living there in the past was horrible.
As for relationships I am planning on putting them on hold. There really is no reason to set myself up for a nether letdown. I am thinking about getting a cute dog or something.
As for the section in my life, after summer. I am planning on moving back to SD.

As for the summer plans I am still not 100% shore… So it might change…

Complex problems defy simple solutions. One cannot end poverty by giving every poor person money, nor is the world cleaned up if everyone rode their bikes to work instead of driving. We need to commit to a total solution for our perceived problems. We need also remember that most solutions hurt people too. What or who we hurt and who or what we fix is always the tough part of the equation.

Update on Life

Ok, ok, I know it has been eons since I was written anything about my life. Tonight I had some time to kill so I am going to try to bring you up to date. I moved to San Diego in January from northern California. I was the best month of the school year. There I made a-lot of new friends and really discover things about me. I am so thankful for Trish and Anthony for letting me say at their house even though I was not there often.
Well then I moved back to Hemet :(. If was great to see my friends; Ju Ju, Ethan, Ryan, and everyone else that I love the same. School started and I had some things I had to work through, but I ended up on top. I am currently involved in a top secret program that has consumed my life. I do not even have time to swim this year because of it. I am also currently a floor model for Hollister and CO. I love that job more then I have ever loved my job. I can do what I want, look great, get a huge discount and get paid for it.
I am sure there is a plethora of things thing that I missed but that leads you up to this last week. Over this last week I have met this amazing person. I do not want to say too much because that was how I fucked up my last relationship by moving too fast to quickly. I am planning on taking my sweet time with this one, but truly I have never felt this way before. There are many complications also affiliated with luggage, but with my new outlook on no more drama I am not really worrying about it. I know that I am not going to let anything happen to me or this person though.
Future plans are changing though. I am expanding my vision after high school and things might change.
There’s a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstances permit. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, just results.

What do I really want in Life?

It has been one week since I have moved back to Southern California, and instead of my life just falling into place it has become more clouted. I have a notion of what I want in life, but it’s the problem of finding that significant other. I want to fined someone who is the same place as me in life, I want someone who is cute, adorable, and someone that is outgoing as me. I want someone that I can just be myself and not have to worry about anything ells. Is that person out there? I don’t know but I have decided that I am sick of trying to please everyone around me because the outcome of that is DRAMA… I am sorry to everyone that I have pissed off this last week due to my drama.. The other problem I am having is not giving my full heart. I guess in a way I just don’t want to be hurt anymore, in every relationship since my longest on I have always had one foot on the floor… I just want to be able to fined that person that just doesn’t fit. But is the one…

Is this Wishful thinking!!!

11:30 Dec 3rd Flying Back

I am currently flying 37,000 feet above the world. I am leaving the place I love and returning to the place I can’t weight to move away from. When it comes to my life right there is so many thing I need to think about. Tonight was the night that I found out that I am not ok with some things. When it comes to the person that I like, I don’t know if it is right or if a relationship will work. I don’t want them to have to change on my-behave and I need to stop lying to myself saying that I can live with it. When it comes to a relationship I want something that is going to fit, not just work. I want that person to be in love with who I am and I want to be in love with them just they way they are not what they can be. I JUST FEEL SO LOST! The other problem I have is with my EXs. Two of them are trying to get back together with me. This is partly my fault because when I broke up with one it was because I am moving away and now I am returning, the other is a problem because we are such a good fit BUT there are complications in the relationship. I did have fun tonight and I was REALLY happy to hang out with Joe and his friend Patrick. I can’t weight to move down to SD in the End of December, I AM GOING TO BE FINALLY HOME!!!!